Something to Think About

So I’m bored this afternoon and have been thinking…never a good thing.

I want to talk about two major recipients of governmental money world wide – aid and medicine. Yes, I realise there is a long list of others, but, as I said, I want to talk about these two.

Please, try to leave all emotion out of it for the next 2 minutes and think about this objectively. I don’t necessarily believe in the arguments I make here…or in any other post…but I have thought about and considered them.

I think we can agree on two things -

·         The amount of money spent on international aid world-wide adds up to an astronomical sum every year

·         The amount of money spent on medical research and the implementation of new medical discoveries is also very very large

Now, consider this. 

What is the main use of aid money?  FOOD and WATER

Why don't people buy their own food and water? NO MONEY

 Why don't people have any money? NO JOBS

 And why aren’t there enough jobs to go around? OVERPOPULATION

In the end, if you follow the path far enough, all major troubles in the world come down to the fact that there are simply too many of us. This, as we know, is only getting worse.

So – what if….we didn’t spend freakish amounts of money on medical research and instead put this money into education, infrastructure etc. etc. Is it not a valid argument that the population problem would soon work itself out?? Countries would have some extra cash to pay back debt or use in other ways and the number of people on the planet would have a chance to stabilize. Once this occurred, aid to other places could be decreased and more money would be saved.

I know it sounds crazy and unethical, remember, I never said it was an idea we should actually implement, but you have to admit that it makes you think.  Maybe our need to continuously progress is creating more harm than good.  I doubt there would be a hole in the ozone if we never came up with internal combustion. There would still be diversity in our oceans if it wasn’t for oil rigs and supertankers. So maybe there would be enough food and water for the living if we simply left well-enough alone and allowed natural selection to do its thing.

It’s something to ponder anyways…

Xoxoxo

Jenn

Stop Bitching About Nothing

OK – this is a topic I’ve been meaning to write about for a while now but am only just getting around to. I don’t think it will be a long post but I tend to go off on tangents, so no promises.

College and university tuition fees and the protests against them being raised.

I was/am an average student from an average middle class family. I worked through high school, saving everything I made and worked as much as I could manage through university. I also used the help of a student line of credit that I am slowly chipping away at. In other words – I am not from a rich family, my parents (although they helped) were not able to pay for my schooling entirely. I am paying off debts, just like everyone else.

Yet I HATE the hype that is currently surrounding the cost of tuition and the price of attaining a post-secondary education in general. This has always been an issue here…I think I saw my first display of protest during my first year of undergrad. It is true that tuition has been raised EVERY semester for at least the last 5 years and I’m seeing more reports of protests all over Europe as well.

Yes, it sucks that is costs money to attend university or college. Yes, it sucks beginning your adult life with debt. Yes, it adds stress to the already stressful life of a student. I get it.


BUT -

IT IS A CAMPAIGN OF GREED, SELFISHNESS AND CHILD-LIKE TANTRUMS. All of these students need to get over themselves. There is currently a hunger strike going on in the UK by a group of students protesting the increase in their tuition. Not only is this a ridiculous idea (face it, none of you are going to die of hunger when the government doesn’t respond, you will all eventually give in and hit the McDonalds across the street, and I don’t blame you one bit for it) but it is so unbelievably selfish that it makes me want to fly over there and slap them all up-side the head, tell them to grow up, get something to eat and go back to school where they should be…they are paying for it, after all.

If these protesters and those like them all across the Western world put a fraction of the energy, time and money they spend getting their point across and redirect it to feeding the hungry, clothing the cold, educating the underprivileged or caring for the orphaned, they could make a HUGE difference in the world. If they collected canned food during their hunger strike, they could probably give a meal to every homeless person in London.

There are children all over the world that never learn to read or write because they cannot afford to attend elementary school for even one year. Yet we sit in our warm brick houses, with our bellies full of hot food and bitch about only getting 13 years of publically funded education. 13 years!! I also understand that our taxes pay for our school and therefore, we pay for our elementary and secondary educations but I assure you that no North American child is missing the opportunity to learn to read because their parents are poor.

We are extraordinarily lucky, privileged and well educated even before attending university. If school fees are simply too high, there are dozens of scholarships and bursaries available every year that no one applies for and that go unused.  You can save money by living with your parents or other relatives while attending school or choosing a cheaper course of study…a two year college program is often less than half the cost of a four year degree, and offers essentially the same end point.

So please, if you have a roof over your head and a can a soup in your cupboard, consider yourself wealthy and PLEASE use your energy, skills and time to help those who cannot help themselves.

That's all I've got for now,


xoxoxo

Jenn


oops - the hunger strike is in Russia, not the UK. My mistake but my point still stands.

My World

OK - So maybe I stole this idea from a friend, but I think he'll understand. I like this idea as a way of keeping track of your memories. I look at this map and instantly remember dozens of things that happened all over the place. I chose not to include the "want to go here" option because I would quite literally cover the entire map in green....grey seemed to do the trick just as well.



Hopefully, one day my bank statements will no longer have a negative sign at the beginning and I will be able to add significantly to this map. I've been struggling with cabin fever for a solid few years now so this day better come soon!

Should I just let it go?

I’ve had a significant amount of free time at work in the last few weeks. I generally spend this time surfing the net and reading the news. My iGoogle home page includes feeds from CBC, BBC, CNN and Al Jazeera English so if a story hits headlines on any of these sites, it’s likely I’ve read it. I am normally drawn more to Al Jazeera and the BBC than to North American news for obvious – or maybe not so obvious – reasons, but lately I have found myself reading information from CBC more than others.

I don’t think I have had any sudden change in heart regarding the validity of Western media, my views on which would require another post entirely. I think, rather, that CBC has been drawing my attention because of the absurd amount of heinous crimes that have been recently uncovered in our little corner of the world.

My interest was first peaked a few months ago when reports about Colonel Russell Williams hit the news for the first time. He was one of Canada’s highest ranking, most influential and most respected military officials. He had been a pilot in our air force for 20+ years and was essentially the poster-boy for the Canadian military. He had flown the Queen, the President of the United States and our Prime Minister multiple times and was serving as the Commander of our largest air force base – CFB Trenton. In a nut shell, Col. Williams was a bright, promising man with a wife who loved him and a national Air Force that respected him. That is, until one day last February when he agreed to meet with police investigating the death of one young woman and the disappearance of another. Within 9 hours of entering the police station, Col. Williams was confessing to over 80 home invasions, 4 sexual assaults and 2 murders. It took only a few months for Russ Williams to be tried. He pled guilty to all of the charges laid before him. He was recently sentenced to life in prison. His crimes started out mild enough – a couple break ins, some stolen lingerie – but escalated out of control. His last act before being caught was the abduction, rape and torture of a young woman. He held her for almost 24 hours, raped her repeatedly, killed her and left her body in the bush for the animals. His pedophile tendencies quickly became common knowledge and I think we are all grateful that he was stopped before a child was hurt.

Needless to say, our entire country was shocked, but for me it went deeper than just being surprised. I was drawn to this story and had difficulty getting it out of my head. I think what fascinated me the most was how good this man was at hiding who he was. Eventually, I looked up and watched almost two hours of interrogation footage – It was like watching a horse being broken by a cowboy. He began with adamant denial of any involvement but when he realised he was done for, his entire demeanour changed. He became a robot and simply relayed the details of every invasion, every stolen article of clothing, every picture and every sexual assault without so much as a tear, a quiver or a flinch. Call me crazy, but I found this fascinating. Don’t get me wrong, the man is a psycho, I have zero respect or empathy for him. It is cases like this one that make you reconsider Canada’s view on capital punishment. No punishment will ever fit these crimes and I feel deeply for the victims and their families. But I was still drawn to that video and couldn’t look away. It was like watching Criminal Minds and then remembering that it was real and that it happened only a few months prior and only a few hours away. He seemed to almost relax when he realised he’d been caught. Like living this double life was a weight he was just glad to be rid of. There are so many questions I would ask him if I had the chance – “why?” being near the top of the list. I wonder if he knows why. You see those shows about people that simply can’t stop themselves, like it’s an addiction to drugs. It starts with a couple joints but before too long that doesn’t have the same effect so it becomes ecstasy, then LSD and eventually cocaine and heroin. I don’t know if this explanation has any legitimate backing or if it is just another idea for a scary movie. I’ll bet Russ Williams (no longer a Col.) knows. I know I’m not making any sense, but I hope you’re managing to get my point.

Another case I think about a lot is the Elizabeth Smart case. I won’t waste your time detailing this one since you’d have to be living under a rock to not already know it. Elizabeth and I were born only a few months apart and I remember her disappearance, and especially her reappearance, like it was yesterday. We will never understand what she went through during her “9 months in hell” nor will we ever understand the minds of her captors. I’m more curious about the women than the man. I wonder what she got out of the whole thing. I also wonder if she was once a victim of this man and had survived the only way she knew how, the same way Elizabeth survived – by cooperating. They describe this couple as ‘married’ but I wonder what Wanda would say about that. Was she forced to marry him? Clearly, she was terrified of him. What I don’t understand is why she didn’t leave with Elizabeth when they were left alone. Why did she keep Elizabeth captive for her husband’s pleasure – what did she have to gain?

I could go on with examples like these all day – but I think you get the idea. People seem to read these stories in the paper or watch them on a segment of the local news. They say, “those poor women...” or “I feel terrible for that family” or something of equal empathy, then they continue onto the next story or the television program ends and that’s the last thought they have on the subject until something brings it to the surface again. I’m never able to do this. I like to keep up to date on current events but reading or watching the news is often exhausting for me. I read a story like those above and then I’m forced to ponder it, examine it from all angles, find supporting or contradicting evidence, and finally try to formulate my opinion. By the time I get there, I’ve been from one end of the internet to the other – watching, listening and reading – and can barely process the amount of information I have taken in. I feel exhausted, frustrated and beaten. I often lose control of my emotions and sink into a depression – sometimes for a couple minutes, sometimes for days. I guess I’m just trying to understand something that is un-understandable. I ask my peers and family what their take is, what they think the suspect was thinking, what the victim was feeling, if they understand. More often than not, I’m told that we will never understand and that I might as well forget about it and move on with my life. I hate this. How could I possibly forget about it? How can they forget about it? How can anyone live on this Earth, see the images and hear the stories that I see and hear and then turn around and forget all about it. For me these things become ingrained in my mind and in my heart. I’m dying to understand, to be able to help. I’m left with a sense of uselessness and idleness – the same feeling I get whenever I think about the rest of the world, the suffering, the turmoil, the starvation, and war, rape used as a weapon, millions without water, basic healthcare, or shelter. I feel so useless, so small and weak against such an incredible force. Of course, this should all be a completely different post and I am getting more and more off topic so I will wrap it up.

Basically, I’m just wondering. Am I the only one that can’t let go of these stories? Am I the only one that sees Russ Williams’ face every day even though I’ve never see it in the flesh? What about Elizabeth Smart – am I the only stranger that can’t get her out of my mind? I can’t be the only one wanting to understand, but am I the only one that can’t accept the inability to understand? These are two extreme examples but I assure you, I am hit the same way with much less shocking incidents.

I know I’ve written a novel here but I appreciate you reading. I am more than willing to hear any ideas or suggestions.

xoxoxoxo

Jenn

Religion: Friend or Foe?

I find myself confused whenever I contemplate religion. Surprisingly, I think about it often and argue with myself about my beliefs. Lately, I'm more confused than ever. I am confused by the prejudices that people seem to hold. I'm not sure if this is actually getting worse or if it only seems that way because I am getting older and meeting different people. Regardless, It's confusing.

I do not completely agree with any religion and yet I am drawn to the idea of them all. I think that believing in something greater than ourselves is a comfort to many. It is not a good feeling when you're faced with the idea that what you see might really be what you get, and all that you get. It makes you question yourself, your life, the lives of others and it ultimately makes me wonder what the point is. As a scientist and a student I am used to busting my ass day in and day out and sometimes I can't help but wonder why. Why work like we do when in the end, we're all on our way out and we are all going to be facing the same thing when that end comes. Rich or poor, hard working or lazy, black or white or blue, we are all the same in death.

I frequently hear the argument that without religion there would be no morality. I think this is both a sham used by many to justify immoral acts ("I did it for God") and a crutch for those struggling with moral dilemmas ("What would Jesus do?"). I do strongly believe that we are moral for the sake of morality itself and that religion has little, if anything to do with it. That being said, I also believe that all good deeds are, to some extent, selfish. I will even go so far as to say that we are an inherently selfish species. We do good because it makes us feel good. We even procreate because we desire to be parents, not because we need to continue the life of our species. It can even be argued that our desire to be parents is negatively affecting other aspects of life for millions of people across the planet.

I am envious of people that are certain that theirs is the one true faith. But at the same time I pity them. I wish I believed in something as passionately as they do, but I fear this is impossible without becoming blind to the world around me. Something I will dedicate my life to avoiding. I cannot deny the greed I feel for knowledge of all things - unfortunately, the more I learn, the less I believe in a celestial being. I've tried asking friends questions about their faiths, they are receptive at first but invariably get frustrated with being asked questions they cannot answer. Until the multitudes of questions can be answered, I cannot have faith.

There is one other thing that has always pushed me away from religion, Christianity in particular (since the majority of religious people in Southern Ontario are Christian). I have always felt like an alien whenever I am at a church for a wedding or other event. I find there is very little acceptance of non-believers and I always wonder how that can be. Many (I will refrain from saying 'most') people with strong faith refuse to see any other possibility. I have, at different times and by different people, been told that I am going hell because I don't believe in a Christian God and that I will forever be incapable of loving or receiving love, since I do not welcome God into my home and my bedroom. These, as well as other instances remind me that maybe I don't want to be a part of that 'club' after all.

As previously stated, I am a scientist. I understand that I am biased - but aren't we all? Science is often considered the Antichrist. Many people believe that you cannot be informed of one while still believing in the other. I too wonder if it is possible to attain a balance, but I have recently began working with an incredibly intelligent man from Egypt who is a world authority on molecular evolution and is a devout Christian. How he manages to believe in both is beyond me but I do take some comfort in the fact that he has found a way.

This has morphed into a novel, which is not what I intended. I apologize for the random topic changes. These are simply some of my thoughts and some of the things I frequently struggle with in regards to this topic.
Thanks for Reading - Jenn